Understanding Forgiveness

Matthew  18:

21. Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 

22. Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

Forgiveness is a virtue that we must consciously cultivate as Christians. It may sound so simple, but I assure you, it's powerful.
We'll not be practicing TRUE Christianity, until we learn how to easily forgive offenders. A wise man once said; "to err is human, but to forgive divine." (Alexander Pope).

Anger and un-forgiveness lies in the bosom of a fool.
“Do not be quick to take offense, for the taking of offense is the mark of a fool.”​— Ecclesiastes 7:9

"The best revenge is not to be like your enemy" (Marcus Aurelius)

What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is an individual, voluntary internal process of letting go of feelings and thoughts of resentment, bitterness, anger, and the need for vengeance and retribution toward someone who we believe has wronged us, including ourselves.
Forgiveness is the act of pardoning an offender.

In the Bible, the Greek word translated “forgiveness” literally means “to let go,” as when a person does not demand payment for a debt.

The true proof of our Christianity is in our ability to FORGIVE; you should forgive even before your offender apologizes.

The Bible teaches that unselfish love is the basis for true forgiveness, since love “does not keep account of the injury.”​— 1 Corinthians 13:​4-5

1 Corinthians  13:
4. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5. Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

The following are NOT forgiveness;

1. Condoning the offense.
The Bible actually condemns those who claim that bad actions are harmless or acceptable.

Isaiah  5:20
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

2. Pretending that the offense never happened.
God forgave King David of serious sins, but he did not shield David from the consequences of his actions.
God even had David’s sins recorded so that they are remembered today.​—2 Samuel 12:​9-​13

3. Allowing others to take advantage of you.
Suppose, for example, that you loan money to someone, but he wastes it and then cannot repay you as he had promised. He is very sorry and apologizes to you. You could choose to forgive him by not harboring resentment, not rehashing the matter with him continually, and perhaps even canceling the debt altogether.

However, you might also choose not to loan him any more money.​—

Psalms  37:21 The wicked borroweth, and payeth not again: but the righteous sheweth mercy, and giveth.

Proverbs  14:15 The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.

Proverbs  22:3 A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished

Galatians  6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

4. Pardoning with no valid basis.
God does not forgive people who are guilty of willful, malicious sin and who refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, change their ways, and apologize to those whom they have hurt.
Proverbs  28:13 He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.
Acts  26:20 But shewed first unto them of Damascus, and at Jerusalem, and throughout all the coasts of Judaea, and then to the Gentiles, that they should repent and turn to God, and do works meet for repentance.
Hebrews  10:26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

Such unrepentant ones become God’s enemies, and he does not require us to forgive those whom he has not forgiven
Psalms  139:21 Do not I hate them, O LORD, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee?  139:22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies.

What if you are the victim of cruel mistreatment by someone who refuses to apologize or even admit to what he has done?
The Bible advises: “Let go of anger and abandon rage.”
Psalms  37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.

While not excusing the error, you can refuse to be consumed with anger.
- Trust that God will bring the person to account.
Hebrews  10:

30. For we know him that hath said, Vengeance belongeth unto me, I will recompense, saith the Lord. And again, The Lord shall judge his people.  

31. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

How to forgive someone

1. Remember what forgiveness involves. You are not condoning the wrong or acting as if it never happened​—you are simply letting it go.

2. Recognize the benefits of forgiving.
Letting go of anger and resentment can help you to keep calm, improve your health, and increase your happiness.
Proverbs  14:30 A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.
Matthew  5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Even more important, forgiving others is a key to receiving God’s forgiveness for your own sins.​

Matthew  6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:  6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

3. Be empathetic; all of us are imperfect.
James  3:2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Just as we appreciate being forgiven, we should likewise forgive the mistakes of others.
Matthew  7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

4. Be reasonable.
When we have a minor cause for complaint, we can apply the Bible’s counsel: “Continue putting up with one another.”​— Colossians 3:​13 .

Colossians  3:13 Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.

5. Act quickly.
Work to forgive as soon as you can rather than letting your anger fester.

Ephesians  4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:  4:27 Neither give place to the devil.